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You Might Be a Redneck If ... This Is the Biggest Book You've Ever Read
Jeff Foxworthy
1401601936
Sept 2004
Bargain - Paperback
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Book Description

You Might Be A Redneck if… You use a fishing license as a form of I.D. Your screen door has no screen. You've been on TV more than once describing what the tornado sounded like. You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time. You ever waved at traffic form your front porch wearing just your underwear.

Containing more than 2,000 entries with more than 200 illustrations, You Might Be A Redneck if…This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read will be a must-own book for die-hard fans of Jeff Foxworthy. Creatively packaged and attractively priced, this book also features more than 1,500 entries that have never been published in book form.

About the Author



Baseball Jokes and Riddles
Matt Christopher
0316140813
April 1996
Paperback
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From School Library Journal
Grade 3-5?The title of this short compilation is somewhat deceiving, as the book includes funny anecdotes from baseball history, references to players' unusual names or nicknames, and some jokes and riddles. The jokes, mostly dialogues, are largely unsuccessful: "Catcher: 'You look a little nervous out there today.' Pitcher: 'Whenever I pitch against the Cubs, I just can't bear it.' " The anecdotes, however, contain the sort of goofy bits of trivia that have sustained baseball fans for years. Adding to the presentation are Vasconcellos's pen-and-ink cartoons, with a particularly effective frog in the outfield snaring a fly ball. This volume seems somewhat slapped together, but Christopher's popularity should keep it from collecting dust on the shelf.?Todd Morning, Schaumburg Township Public Library,...


Super Giggles: Knock-Knocks, Jokes, and Tongue-Twisters
Jacqueline Horsfall
0760767823
January 2005
Paperback
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How to Be the Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World (or Just in Your Class)
Jay Leno
1416906312
Sept 2005
Hardcover
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From School Library Journal
Grade 2-6–A collection of jokes, riddles, wordplay, and tongue twisters, all liberally mixed with advice on how to become a comedian. Most of the bits are funny and age appropriate. However, some selections deal with times, places, or people that won't be familiar to the target audience. The volume sports a punchy contemporary design that utilizes black-and-white photography, clip art, and a plethora of fonts and type sizes. While the author sometimes puts being class clown above schoolwork and getting good grades, the book is overall a helpful look into the life of a budding performer. Children will love it because of the wealth of material within it. Leno tells them to use it freely and advises them to learn from watching and listening to others, but to create their own material.–Cynde Suite,...


Jokes to Go: 1,419 of the Funniet Bits from the Best Comedians
Judy Brown (Editor)
0740738992
September 2003
Paperback
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Book Description
Wouldn"t you love to have the right joke on any subject delivered at your convenience' With Jokes to Go you get a handy take-out package of the latest zingers and one-liners from the best and brightest comedians"without having to pay the two-drink minimum at a comedy club. Judy Brown has collected the funniest quips and observations from the country"s top comedians and cataloged them alphabetically by subject for easy consumption. Hilarious jokes from hipsters like Conan O"Brien, Chris Rock, Caroline Rhea, David Letterman, and Saturday Night Live"s Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon appear alongside old-school favorites from Bob Hope and Johnny Carson.Jay Leno on Accidents: "There was a 194-car crash in L.A. Luckily, the guy in the first car was still able to complete his cell phone call."Janette Barger on Hair: "I refuse to...


Knock, Knock! Who's There : My First Book of Knock-Knock Jokes
Tad Hills
0689834136
June 2000
Hardcover
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From School Library Journal
PreSchool-Grade 1-This delightful introduction to the ever popular form of playground humor is sure to delight youngsters. Each two-page spread presents a new joke opposite a gatefold flap that delivers the punch line. The colorful illustrations of the animal characters demonstrate the humor of the play on words. For instance, "Knock, knock. Who's there? Anita" shows a neat little pig in a sundress holding flowers. Opening the gatefold bearing the words, "Anita who?" reveals a muddied porcine with shovel and pail exclaiming, "Anita bath!" The multicolored pastel pages provide a funny backdrop for this collection. This is a great choice for individual sharing or storytime, but be prepared-children are bound to repeat these jokes again and again.Hennie Vaandrager, Byron Township Library, Byron Center, MI...


Uncle John's Unstoppable Bathroom Reader
Bathroom Reader's Hysterical Society
1592231160
Nov 2003
Paperback
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Book Description
Now in its 16th year, The Bathroom Reader — which seems to have replaced the tie as the most popular Father's Day gift idea — has become a movement, with satisfying, easily digested new selections sure to wipe away bathroom boredom. Handily arranged by length — "short" (a quick read), "medium" (1 to 3 pages), and "long" (for those extended visits) — the book covers everything from Americana to The Name Game to Pop Science and Wordplay. Readers can learn the origins of superglue, sample news stories about underwear, read about animals famous for 15 minutes, and learn of unknown heroes of the Wild West. This broad assortment eliminates ennui while wittily educating readers trapped in airports, cars, buses, or lavatories.


Nurses 2006 Calendar
Andrews McMeel Publishing
0740751913
July 2005
Calendar
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Jokelopedia: The Biggest, Best, Silliest, Dumbest Joke Book Ever
Ilana Weitzman
0761112146
September 2000
Paperback
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Book Description
Kids and jokes, jokes and kids--it's a natural marriage. Now comes the mother of all joke books. Doctor jokes and elephant jokes, banana jokes, robber jokes, dentist jokes, light bulb jokes, chicken-crossing-the-road jokes, teacher jokes, computer jokes, movie star jokes, vampire jokes-they're all here, by the thousands, in a gut-busting, all-encompassing collection of more jokes than any kid could tell in a lifetime.

For the class clown and the family comedian and the shy kid who's looking to make new friends, Jokelopedia is the indispensable resource. There are the old classics and newfangled variations, and every shade of joke, pun and riddle in between, all organized by subject for easy reference. But Jokelopedia also takes it a step further. Included are tips on how to tell a joke (never laugh during the...


I Spy Spooky Night: A Book of Picture Riddles
Jean Marzollo
0590481371
September 1996
Hardcover
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From School Library Journal
Kindergarten-Grade 4?Another brilliant collaboration by this incredibly innovative duo. This time, the puzzles take place in and around a haunted house (an altered Victorian dollhouse). Readers are invited to search for mice, spiders, candles, bats, jack-o-lanterns, and bones among other creepy things found in the hallway, library, fireplace, and laboratory of the house, as well as in the graveyard and a garden of ghoulies outside. (How the miniature cobwebs were simulated remains a mystery.) Using a spooky sky for a backdrop, various props, and some very creative lighting, Wick achieves a definite dramatic effect. Marzollo's clever rhyming puzzles add great flair, and, as in the earlier titles, readers are encouraged to solve more riddles at the end and to make up selections of their own. This book is fun...


The Best Jokes Minnie Pearl Ever Told
Bill Turner
1558537341
Oct 2000
Paperback
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Book Description
Here are Minnie Pearl's best jokes, funny stories about her family and friends in Grinder's Switch, and fond remembrances of Minnie by many stars who knew and loved her.


Kids' Funniest Jokes
Jeff Sinclair (Illustrator)
0806904488
December 1994
Paperback
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Book Description
Hundreds of great one-liners, riddles, knock-knocks, wisecracks, and jokes--each of which was entered in a contest by a kid age 6 to 12--will tickle your funny bone. Plus, all royalties from the sale of this book are being donated by Sterling Publishing to a literacy foundation. 96 pages, 60 b/w illus., 5 3/8 x 8 1/4. ...


No Redneck Left behind: Facing the Real World after Gettin' Your Diploma
Jeff Foxworthy
1401602312
April 2006
Paperback
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Book Description

If you've ever had a job that paid daily, or you've been fired from a construction job because of appearance, or there are three generations of your family currently working at McDonalds, No Redneck Left Behind is the gift book for you. Let's face it. You might be a redneck if . . . You were ever fired for shooting spitballs. The family business requires a lookout. Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand. You've ever been promoted to dishwasher. You've spent more time on parole than on payroll. You work at the 99¢ store for the employee discount. The only diploma you have on your wall is from DUI school. Your medical plan is not to get sick. You park in handicapped spaces based on your SAT scores. Your savings account is the ashtray in your truck.

About the...



One Thousand Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
Michael Kilgarriff
0345334817
November 1986
Mass Market Paperback
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Book Description
Kids can never get enough knock-knock jokes. For the insatiable riddler, here are 1,000 jokes that will satisfy the need to tease. Here are knock-knocks about names, songs, insults, sayings, puns, and many, many more, in this laugh-out-loud anthology of knock-knock jokes kids will love.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes your friend, open the door.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lena.
Lena who?
Lena little closer, I want to tell you a secret.

Inside Flap Copy
Kids can never get enough knock-knock jokes. For the insatiable riddler, here are 1,000 jokes that will satisfy the need to tease. Here are knock-knocks about names, songs, insults, sayings, puns, and many, many more, in this laugh-out-loud anthology of knock-knock jokes kids...


Redneck Extreme Mobile Home Makeover
Jeff Foxworthy
1401602258
Sept 2005
Paperback
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Book Description

Everyone knows the phrase "A man's home is his castle." Does that statement ring true even if:

You removed your bathroom door so you could watch TV from the commode?

The directions to your house include 'turn off the paved road'?

You spray painted your dead shrubbery green?

Any redneck will tell you that, of course, it is true. So whether you live in a double wide or have hit the big time with a ranch with one and a half baths, Redneck Extreme Mobile Home Makeover will make you laugh at the way some of us, I mean, some of you live such as:

You Might Be A Redneck if…

Your yard has ever been the proposed site for a landfill.

You think orange peels left on the coffee table are potpourri.

The garbage truck mistakenly takes your lawn furniture.

Someone knocks on your front door...



The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes
H. Aaron Cohl
1884822630
Jan 1997
Hardcover
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Book Description
Introduction by Alan King. The most extensive collection of jokes ever compiled from Friars Club members and other comedians, this hilarious book covers every imaginable subject--from aging to dieting, fashion to fathers, birth control to male anatomy.


Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book
Garrison Keillor (Introduction)
1565119797
September 2005
Paperback
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From AudioFile
Fans of Garrison Keillor's radio program will love this collection of jokes harvested from his annual Joke Show in April. Sound effects and genuine audience laughter capture the best of the cheerful old-time radio atmosphere. As a comedian, Keillor has a well-honed sense of timing and a facility with the bucolic language of Minnesota, both of which delight his audiences. These tapes would please anyone with a sense of humor or provide a pleasant interlude for listeners of more somber audiobooks. J.A.H. © AudioFile 2001, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine --This text refers to the Audio Cassette edition.

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